Out Of Kilter

Hopefully no one gets injured and there’s no reason for ESPN to spend three months bemoaning an outlaw culture at the program. Both of those things would be awesome. I’d like for Kyle to get some confidence going into the game with Texas A & M. I’d also appreciate not running the spread when our running game, the strength of the team, is neutralized by lining up in the shotgun, and instead we play to our nonexistant passing game’s strengths. All of these would be positive.

We get some traffic on this site, but far and away the number one reason why over 20,000 people have come to see our site has been the former Flavor Flav flame Hoopz.

According to her Wikipedia, Nicole “Nikki” Alexander’s got a semi-nude and lingerie modeling site, does some music video work and might get her own VH1 special. She also got dissed by The Game, but getting dissed by a dude who has a butterfly tattoo on his face and hangs with Kanye “Mr. Tiny Jacket” West isn’t really all that devastating.

Either way enjoy our gallery of this hip-hop honey after the jump.

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So I go see this movie, “Aqua Teen Hunger Force Colon Movie For Theaters” in none other than the theater, and it was so-so. The rock intro was not only funny, but accurate. They have my money, and they don’t care what I think of their product.

Did I laugh? Sure. But I laugh at the show, and that shit is free. If I had to pay for the show, like I did last night, then I wouldn’t be laughing so hard. I’m not all that upset about it, but I hope it’s pathetic opening numbers keep them from making another movie, unless I could watch that movie from the comfort of my home, where I have a cabinet full of booze and a bed full of underage girls. Yum.

So, at the end of March Out of Kilter got a MySpace page… at the beginning of April, Danny Bonaduce’s wife, Gretchen, filed for divorce after over 16 years of marriage.

I’m not going to draw you a map here, but I will say this; the choice between a partridge and the Ibis is really no choice at all.

The captain of Rutgers University’s women’s basketball team, Essence Carson, got her 15 minutes when she told the cameras that racist radio host Don Imus “has stolen a moment of pure grace from us… our moment to celebrate our success…”

What the fuck are you talking about? Didn’t you lose?

Yeah, I got no clue what the title of this post means either. But, in between watching the Hunt for the Red October, embellishing my weekly confessions, and catching up on my cryptozoology, I find the time to round up some links for the meager smattering of people who read this website. So cut me a break once in a while, will ya?

I want to lead with this link, because not only is it a hilarious story, but I want to give a hearty golf clap to Larry David, who proved himself a stand-up guy for offering the footage to the poor guy. Senior David, tu erres el mensch de la semana.

There were rumors about this?

I’m so excited for the return of witch hunts.

Lady gambles with jail time after selling the Most Cuddliest Game.

Remember way back when the American prison system was fine, and we weren’t overcrowding and/or starving our inmates to death? Yeah, those were the days.

Welcome to the internets. We’ve been expecting you.

It’s been a big week for male bodily fluids.

Here’s something Grandpa forgot to teach you kid; snitches get stitches.

This story keeps getting better. Alec Baldwin is the new Nostradamus.

When you owe a bookie a lot of money, and he, say, blows off one of your toes, you still owe him the money. Doesn’t seem fair to me. Especially when he’s gonna kill me in four days anyway.

“Can you hear me now?” It’s the network.

Cartoon Network’s General Manager resigns following the ATHFake bomb scare.

Tragedy strikes the United Kingdom.

“Are you not entertained? Is this not why you are here?”

Another great way to get fired.

Maybe this is sadder than Dan Marino?

When people do stuff like this and this to their kids, why are they surprised when the little runts turn out like this?