Out Of Kilter

Our sympathies are with the Tiger family today.

EDSBS

Memphis Tigers defensive lineman Taylor Bradford was shot and killed by an unidentified gunman on the campus of the University of Memphis around 10:00 p.m. Sunday night, according to WREG-TV in Memphis.

The captain of Rutgers University’s women’s basketball team, Essence Carson, got her 15 minutes when she told the cameras that racist radio host Don Imus “has stolen a moment of pure grace from us… our moment to celebrate our success…”

What the fuck are you talking about? Didn’t you lose?

So I watched the Super Bowl, and I don’t know if there’s something in the water, but da’ Bears and OSU can both enjoy a nice long offseason just thinking about what they’ve done young man! I mean, really, Peyton did his best to try and blow the game, but it was like watching two retards box a gorilla on Ritalin. 6 turnovers in the first half? Seriously. (Edited by TDD: Anyone who saw this, sorry - this was a little soon.)

Update: Turner Broadcasting will shell out $2 million for the ATHF stunt. You gotta sell a lot of Frisky Dingo DVDs to make that back.

Payton Manning : Dan Marino :: success : ______

Also, this keeps getting weirder.

Don’t you just love our allies?

This must make the ghost of Timothy McVeigh soooo angry.

Let the wookie out on bail.

I guess the investigation continues.

As we quickly approach the National Championship this year, I don’t really have any favorite. If, somehow, both teams got “Marshalled” on their way to the game, that would suit me just fine.

Why? Because Ohio State suckered the mighty Hurricanes out of a title four years ago and I have a pathological hatred of the Florida Gators.

If I had to pick a winner, I’d go with the Buckeyes. Not because everyone and their mother says they’re going to win, and not because they have a magical record, going wire-to-wire at #1 like some sort of ‘roided out Hannah Montana in football pads. I’m going with OSU because of Tressel, Coach Jimmy Tressel.

And, like the good man says; Ohio State 87, Florida 0.

“See you fools at the party after our big win.”

Today, I came across something that was a bit of an internet fad, and while I hate to post the kind of links that everyone else posts, I had to share this story. Basically, this creepy dude hits a seven-legged deer with his truck and becomes instantly famous. I’ve added this event to a long list of things that have eroded my faith in humanity. Here are two reasons why;

1: This guy, a “self-professed hermit” lives in a goddamn “log cabin off County Trunk F east of Waucousta” and still has a girlfriend.

2: Calling the animal a “weird deer” and “definitely a freak of nature” with a “birth defect” the guy still fucking eats it! “It kind of gives you the creeps when you look at it… And by the way, I did eat it. It was tasty.”

At least the deer story isn’t as sad as this.

After spending 8 long years training behind bars, physician Jack “Dr. Death” Kevorkian is ready to rumble as a free man.

Corrections Department spokesman Russ Marlan says the parole board took one look at the 78-year-old man from behind his Magneto-style prison cell (which could only barely contain hm), and ruled Kevorkian’s simply too vicious to keep in prison with defenseless inmates, adding “at least civilians have the right to bear arms… but even that too may be too little.”

(more…)

What the hell were you thinking, Scoop? Arguably no sports media figure has come under more heat in the last three months or so. Despite that, you feel free to use the five finger discount on a concept that has been a fully formed idea dating back to Jason Whitlock still being at ESPN.

So you decide to write a column based on the perspective of the ball, which, to reiterate, was originally developed by the humble Cavalier at Yaysports! NBA, without including so much as a link. You do, though, indicate an awareness of your own theft of intellectual property by mentioning as a throwaway statement;

A Web site gave me a nickname. They call me the Orange Roundie.

You’re then caught, initially as far as I can tell, by the mysterious and debonair “TDD,” commenting at Yay, at 12:55. In response to a groundswell of deserved anger, the word Yaysports is quietly inserted into the piece.

Still no link, but it’s better, right? Not quite. You see, Scoop Jackson presumably got paid, writing in character… a character someone else had fully fleshed out and that Scoop without full attribution used as the jumping off point for his discussion. And then, when asked to respond by Will Leitch at Deadspin, Jackson says;

I actually thought I was giving them some love, even though ESPN edited out the part about them being the ball’s favorite site. Just trying to have some fun. Hope you enjoyed the piece; tell YAY I thought their overall ball coverage was brilliant. The ball, on the other hand, had a few issues.

Really? Pin it on your editor, while ignoring the broader issue? Weak, Scoop. The Cavalier, while understandably pissed, is much more charitable than most would be about the thing. He’s absolutely right, though. Scoop Jackson stole a concept from another writer with minimal attribution, and until some sort of retraction is issued, Out Of Kilter counts itself among the League of Roundie Henchmen.

The FIU Golden Panthers don’t mind a good brawl, but if you can’t win a single game, you’ve got to pack your bags.

Today, FIU Head Coach Don Strock (aka Detroit Strock City) resigned, but will finish out the season to make sure his players end the year without a win.

Strock and Awe tells WKAT-1360,

“It’s time to move on. I’ve decided to go in a different direction… Now is a good time to move on to other challenges. I wish FIU every success.”

FIU, which remains 0-9 this season, hopes that new direction is winning.